


Familiarity

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Second War with Voldemort, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 15:31:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5933449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All they have left is each other and memories of before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Familiarity

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

They fuck because they'd done that before everything had fallen apart, and maybe not for any reason beyond that. They don't know if they even really like each other very much anymore, and they certainly don't know each other anymore, though they put on a good show of it for the others.

But fucking each other is a memory of what they had been, a reminder of when James and Lily had been alive and Peter had still been loyal, when they were drunk on love and life and thought they were impervious to the worst things that could happen. Time has shown how untrue that was, but a lifetime ago there had been so much more than this dreary house of nightmares that Sirius has to stay in and Remus stays with him because he doesn't know what else to do.

That night fifteen years ago broke both of them, though in different ways, and now they have to put themselves together, and it's harder than they thought. All they have left of what they had been is each other, and so they build a foundation off that, off of what had been between them before things fell apart, and what might still be between them now, even if buried beneath layers of guilt and mistrust and pain and loneliness.

You wouldn't have thought, looking at them all those years ago, what fate would befall those two laughing young men with their arms wrapped around each other. They wouldn't have thought either, and maybe that's the reason they're in this mess in the first place, but they are, and they have to deal with it. Too bad neither of them knows how to, and is not very good at trying.

But oh how they try. They have each other and their buried love as an anchor and try to build their lives up piece by piece from that knowledge. Both of them remember what it used to be like in the dark of the night, with kisses and touches and cries and climaxes and falling asleep in each other's arms. And so Remus will take Sirius's cock in his mouth because he remembers that he used to do that and it had felt good then. And Sirius doesn't remember quite as much as he wants to but it's hard to forget the feeling of coming into Remus's mouth as soon as it happens again. And both of them remember the feeling of hands wrapped around each other's pricks and the sight of semen on each other's hands and on the sheets. It's something familiar to go off of and maybe they can make themselves again.

Too bad it doesn't work too well. Too bad that Remus's constant absences for the Order do as much damage to Sirius's mentality as their nightly escapades can heal it. And too bad neither of them understands the other as much as they used to, because Remus doesn't know what to do when Sirius stalks off to Buckbeak's room after Remus tells him yet again that he's not allowed to leave the house. And Sirius doesn't know why this new Remus isn't like the old Remus because the passage of time hasn't done them any favors.

The Veil hasn't done them any favors either. And looking at it move in a nonexistent breeze, Remus knows that he and Sirius never really had a chance.


End file.
